


Spare Him His Life From This Monstrosity

by BloodDemonLove



Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Confusion, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Hallucinations, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Memory Alteration, Mental Breakdown, Mind Manipulation, Nightmares, Rape Aftermath, Rape Recovery, Sweet Cullen Rutherford, Underage Sex
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-04-06
Updated: 2016-04-11
Packaged: 2018-05-31 14:25:01
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,206
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6473923
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BloodDemonLove/pseuds/BloodDemonLove
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Title taken from Bohemian Rhapsody by Queen</p><p>Talen Trevelyan is forced to face his past when faced with a decision on who ally with; the Mages of Redcliffe or the Templar Order. There is a lot of push to ally with the Templars but how will Talen react? And what about former Templar Cullen Rutherford?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. I'd Rather Feel Pain Than Nothing At All

**Author's Note:**

> I changed some of the dialogue to better suit Talen.  
> Everything but some of the plot belongs to Bioware. I gain nothing from this other than joy from writing something.

"We've read your reports on what happened at Redcliffe. Are you sure we still want to head in that direction? It sounds like the Templars would be the better option. They're better equipped to suppress this sort of thing, like they do with mages-" Cullen was cut off by a desperate shriek.

"NO!"

All eyes turned to Talen Trevelyan, the one who bears the mark of Andraste on his left hand. He ignored them as his rant continued,

"I will NOT ally myself with Templars! I would rather talk to every Magister in Tevinter before even considering allying myself with those lyrium addicted assholes! Not after what they put me through! We go to Redcliffe, we get the mages, we close the Breach, and restore order, without the Templars. Otherwise, you can find a different way to close the Breach." With that, he stormed off to his quarters, leaving some very stunned companions in his wake.

After a moment of silence, Iron Bull broke it, "What...was that?"

"I have no idea....." Josephine looked after the Herald.

"I might. It does have something to do with his past. Apparently, while in the Circle in Ostwick, the Templars there were....less than noble. Far less. There is evidence that Talen was repeatedly and often abused, threatened with Tranquility if he didn't comply. Anything more and we'll have to ask him." Leliana stated solemnly.

There was more stunned silence before Solas stormed out. As a mage, he hates hearing about such abuse of authority, especially the abuse of the Rite of Tranquility. That was only supposed to be used if a mage was completely and utterly out of control, on the verge of being possessed, or becoming an abomination.  He found himself in the Herald's quarters, the man himself curled in on himself on the bed. "Herald." Solas announced his presence with the simple word, noticing how the figure tensed minutely.

When no response was forthcoming, he continued, "I was wondering if you would care to elaborate on a piece of your outburst back there. More specifically, the part about what the Templars did to you?"

A sigh was heard from the bed. "Fine. I'm not saying a lot. It was the usual, we did as told, we went through the Harrowing, those who failed became Tranquil and the rest were dedicated to serving the Circle for the rest of their lives. Mine is no different. I just despise how we were treated." Talen attempted to skirt around the real issue and Solas knew it.

Sensing that he wouldn't be getting anything else from the man, he nodded, "Thank you for sharing what little you did. I've never experienced a Circle so I was curious."

With that, he left and returned to the place he called home temporarily.

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Cullen left feeling more confused than ever. It wasn't a secret that not all Templars who monitored the Circles were completely innocent, but how would that warrent the response he'd gotten for his suggestion? Granted, he could've been a little more tactful, since the Herald was indeed a mage who had been in a Circle, but it wasn't that bad in a Circle, right? They had freedom, they were trained to control their magic, tested, and released. Right? He didn't remember much from when he'd worked in Kirkwall before the rebellion.

He decided to go ask the Herald himself what it was like in a Circle. The man was asleep when Cullen arrived, but awoke quickly at the heavy metal footsteps, as Cullen was still in his armor. 

"Please stay back!"

The words made Cullen pause. "What?"

"I'm sorry, please, don't hurt me! I didn't mean to, it was an accident!" Talen cried out, seemingly still half asleep. The man scrambled back on the bed, pressing himself as far against the wall as he could, as far away from Cullen as possible.

"What in the Maker's name are you on about?" Cullen demanded, "Who's going to hurt you?"

At that, Talen seemed to snap out of it, what ever it was. "Commander? What are you doing here? Did you need something? I'm sorry for whatever you witnessed, it was just a nightmare."

He tried to brush off his little episode, which only made Cullen want to know more. "What was the nightmare about? It seemed more like a memory to me."

Talen grimaced, "Yeah, it was a memory. But it was a long time ago. Thinking about Templars tends to bring it back. Reminds me too much about what Circle life was like for me and many others. I don't know if it was like that everywhere, but it was definitely not normal." His eyes snapped back up to Cullen's.

"You're a Templar. I'm sure you don't want to hear about what your 'precious order' did wrong. Especially not from the biased view of an apostate. So I won't burden you with it. Was there anything else you wanted to talk about? Because I'm sure we both have a lot to do tomorrow." Talen turned away from Cullen, making a show of fixing his bed so he could sleep again.

"I....You're right. I'll see you in the war room tomorrow then. Goodnight, Herald." With that, Cullen turned and left the room, a bit flustered and even more confused than before.

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The next morning, in the war room, the Herald looked exhausted, like he'd spent the night tossing and turning instead of sleeping. Cullen suspected it was more of those nightmares.  He said as much as they were leaving, "More bad memories last night?"

"And what if they were? Because I'm the Herald, am I not allowed to experience bad dreams?" Talen snapped, obviously not thinking completely straight.

Cullen responded calmly, "Not at all. I was simply inquiring about your well-being."

Talen had the decency to look sheepish, "Sorry, that was uncalled for. Yes, it was more nightmares about my time in the Circle. I won't burden you with them, though. They probably would seem exaggerated to another Templar."

"I'm not a Templar. Not any longer. I left the order after the rebellion in Kirkwall. I was even in Ostwick for a short time before getting transferred to Kirkwall." Cullen corrected firmly.

"Then let me ask you this; do you truly know what happened in those Circles? Did you ever witness it? Or do you only know what you've been told? Think about it, Commander, before you go judging any mage who despises Templars like I do." With that, Talen walked away to pack for another journey to Redcliffe.

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Skipping ahead to Skyhold and restorations are well under way. Talen, who has since pushed the memories back into their little box, was making his rounds, checking in with everyone now that he has officially become the Inquisitor. He was about to talk to Cullen, waiting for a scout to finish their report, when a voice from behind him made him tense. 

"Rope burns, bloody sheets. At least it's abed this time. Pain, so much pain, what did I do? I was behaving, following orders, why are they doing this? I hate them, I hate them so mu-"

"STOP!" The shout drew stares from all over the courtyard and Talen lowered his voice, turning on Cole. "Stop poking around in my head, got it?"

"But you're hurting. I can help-"

"No you can't! I can't be helped, I'm beyond fixing. So just....leave it alone!" Talen ran off towards his quarters. 

Cole watched him leave, then turned to Cullen. "You're the only one who can help him, as much as it seems otherwise. Push a bit more. He wants to tell someone, someone who will listen without judging. He's been hurt deeply his whole life. Remember that." With that, the spirit vanished. 

Cullen looked around, really getting sick of feeling so confused all the time.

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Once he reached the safety of his quarters, Talen set about throwing things and muttered about 'meddling spirits and their stupids mind-reading abilities'. Talking about it sparked memories and soon it was a full blown panic attack, complete with hallucinations and voices. 

It left him shaking and sobbing, sitting on his bed in the fetal position, curled in on himself in an attempt to shield his body from the imagined attacks. A concerned voice broke through the haze like a knife through butter, "Talen?"

He blinked rapidly, clearing the fog as best he could to try and see who was speaking to him. It was Cullen, surprisingly. "Cullen...." He rasped, voice hoarse from screaming and crying.

"I tried not to push, tried to give you space. But if it's affecting you this much, maybe it's better if you told someone." He offered hesitantly, unsure how the suggestion would be taken, given how his previous attempts had been rejected. 

Talen thought about it, taking far longer than Cullen had expected. When the other man spoke, it startled him, "I showed my magic when I was eight, my parents were fighting and I wanted them to stop. The carpet under their feet burst into flames. My mom got severely injured by it, she was to stay in bed for months to heal. I was sent to the Circle once we were sure my mom would be okay. I could tell I had scared them, but I was a child. I didn't know why my parents tried so hard to stay away from me, and keep my siblings as far from me as possible. When I was dropped off, it was by a servant. They didn't even come to say goodbye."

Cullen was slightly shocked. For him, to be separated in that way from his family would've been intolerable as a teen, much less as a child. "What happened when you got to the Circle?"

He shrugged, "For the first few years, everything was fine. I learned how to control my magic, defend myself from demons, from other mages. Then, I was about 12, an older age attacked me. I wouldn't do what he asked because I'd been told to obey the Templars and those who had survived the Harrowing. He hadn't been tested yet, so I didn't listen. He attacked me with magic. I defended with magic. But, I was a lot stronger than I thought I was and... I killed him. I killed a fellow mage. I couldn't control myself and he payed the consequences for it."

"But, he attacked you first. It was self-defense, you did nothing wrong!" 

"No, I should've been able to control myself. I should've listened. I was bad, so bad, so bad....." He trailed off, eyes oddly glazed over.

Cullen could recognize the remnants of a mind-altering spell that was actually banned from use because it had long lasting and devastating effects. So that was the root of the problem. Some Templar had altered Talen's mind to believe that he had done something wrong. It infuriated Cullen that no one had caught this abuse of power. He'd have to look into how to reverse the effects, if they could be reversed at all. "What happened after that?" He prodded gently, trying to move on.

Talen stopped his mumbling and thought for a minute, "It was about a year later. I was called into what was known as the Training Room. There were a few other Templars there. I was told to remove my clothes and lay on the bed. At this point, I was doing everything I could to not get punished again, so I did as told. They...they started touching me, all over. They touched my cock and put fingers up my ass, all the while telling me that I was a good boy, that I was behaving beautifully, which was what I wanted. One of them flipped me over and...and he just shoved in. No lubricant, nothing. I could feel the skin tearing, feel the blood dripping down my thighs. I was thirteen and had lost my virginity to a Templar with a fetish for young boys. After the first, they all had their turn. They were kind enough to leave a health potion behind so I could heal." Talen went quiet for a long time, shuddering and fidgeting on the bed as if moving away from someone's hands.

There was nothing Cullen could say. It was disgusting. To do such a thing to anyone was horrific, even more so if they were a child. Without any prompting, Talen continued, "It happened often for a while, then only when I supposedly did something bad. I guess I was getting too old for them at that point. I was 16 when the rebellion happened. I found the Templars who had raped me and killed each of them, slowly. You know how I killed them?" Talen looked at Cullen and Cullen was very, very afraid. 

There was murderous fury and satisfaction in those bright blue eyes, "I cooked them slowly from the inside out. Made them feel every terrible second of it, just like they did to me for 3 years. And I enjoyed it. I wanted to kill more Templars, I was sure they were all like those four. I still am. Just because they haven't acted on it yet doesn't mean they won't. I hate Templars. They all deserve to rot in the Fade for eternity." There was such bitterness and anger in Talen's tone, so uncharacteristic from the normally kind-hearted mage. 

Suddenly, the anger cleared, replaced with sadness. "But not you. Despite being a former Templar, you're different. I don't know how, but you're so different from the ones at my Circle... and that scares me. That means my anger could be misplaced, that maybe not all Templars are the same, that maybe I've killed innocent Templars and I wouldn't have cared. I hate you, and yet I don't. I hate what you represent, what you stand for. Why....?" The Herald's eyes drooped, dropping off into a deeper sleep than he's had in weeks. 

Cullen helped the Herald to lay down and tucked him under the covers, still attempting to process everything that had been suddenly dropped on his lap. "You helped him. It will take time, but he will heal, as long as you continue to help him."

Without thinking, Cullen responded, "But I don't know how to help him. He just told me he hated me. How can I help him if he hates me?"

"Listen to him, let him get everything out that he's been holding inside for years because he was afraid of being judged. It will go from there."


	2. If Our Love is Tragedy, Why Are You My Remedy?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things are awkward at Skyhold now that the tale if the Inquisitor's past is out, even more so between Trevelyan and Cullen. How will things work out between them? Will anything come of it?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, I did change the actual plot of the game but only for the purposes for the story.
> 
> Usual Disclaimers, blah blah blah, I own nothing.

The day after his mental breakdown, Talen left his quarters and almost instantly, all conversation stopped. He glanced down at himself. Yeah, clothes are all on and clean, and he knew he washed his face before coming downstairs. A few of the men he knew were former Templars looked at him with a guilty expression. At that moment, Talen knew that everyone knew. Even though Talen had only confessed his past to Cullen. It made the Herald uneasy to be the subject of such looks of pity and he ducked past them as quickly as possible. More than once Talen was approached by well-wishers, hoping that they hadn't done anything to make his trauma worse. He smiled politely and said that it was a long time ago and that he was fine and that was the end of it.

But his companions, they were the worst. Now they looked at him like he would break if someone so much as touched him and it was completely infuriating. 

Since the incident, Cullen had been avoiding him and that was almost worse. He had poured his whole heart out to the man and now hadn't seen him since. Not even in the war room. When he asked his other Advisers, they had both given him odd looks and dodged the question. 

Fine. Talen was used to being alone anyways. It wasn't like he suddenly craved Cullen's company, he was just curious as to where the man had disappeared to. That's all. Yup, nothing more going on here. .....Oh Maker, was he actually falling for a former Templar? What happened to hating them? His whole agenda was getting thrown off, by just one man! A really handsome, charming- No! No, he was not going to continue that line of thought!

Cullen was one of them, a Templar. He may have left the order, but that doesn't mean he won't act like a Templar. Letting him get too close would be dangerous, almost certainly deadly....

While he was thinking, he somehow ended up in the library where Dorian spent the majority of his time. The two had grown rather close after the meeting with Dorian's father. While Talen had briefly considered starting something with Dorian, he knew that he was far too unstable mentally to commit himself to such a thing. And he wasn't sure he could handle anyone touching him intimately anyways. So he politely declined Dorian's offer, though they agreed that flirting was okay, and had become fast friends over similar struggles, both as mages and gay men. 

Dorian was in his usual chair, a book in hand, a glass of wine in the other. Though, Talen could tell that it wasn't good wine(By Dorian's standards) by the way the other man's nose would twitch after every sip. 

"You don't have to drink it if you don't like it, you know."

Dorian jumped a bit, obviously too absorbed in his book to register that someone else was nearby. "You're right, I don't have to. And yet, I'm going to anyways because it's better than the piss they call beer in the tavern. Now, what brings you to my cozy little corner of the library?"

Talen shrugged, "Was wandering along and found myself here. Better than being out there and have to see everyone staring at me."

"They have a reason to stare. Some are questioning your ability to lead, while others think you're stronger for the experience. That's the way it is with every leader, in any organization. They'll find something else to worry about in a week or so, something else with happen that they'll obsess over. Just stick it out, is my advice, and don't take it to heart." Dorian, in his typical fashion, makes the whole thing seem trifle.

"What I don't get is how everyone found out. I told one person, who I was taking a huge risk in telling, and they go and tell the whole blighted keep! And now, conveniently,  I can't find them anywhere to confront them about it!" 

Dorian frowned, "Maybe he just doesn't want things to be awkward-"

"I didn't say it was a 'he'" Talen interjected, "Why do you assume it was a man I told?"

"Because Cullen came and told me personally, that's why." Said so carelessly, like the fact that Talen's deepest, darkest secret hadn't been told to the whole of Skyhold didn't matter, it almost made Talen explode in anger.

He stalks away, muttering under his breath. His expression must've been enough to discourage anyone from talking to him because he wasn't bothered at all on his way to the garden. The place was deserted at this point in the day, most people either in Chantry service or training in the courtyard. Here, Talen could rant in private. "How dare he! And to think I was just beginning to trust the man, trust Templars in general! This just cements it, they're all lying, selfish bastards who take what they want and leave. They can all go to the void. I'm done with Templars. I don't care how much we need them. They stay away from Skyhold or I'm walking away and they can find a new Herald and a new way of closing the breach."

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From the shadow of an open doorway, Cullen listened to the rant. But he was puzzled. He had only told Dorian. No one else. And he'd only told Dorian because of how close he and Talen were. Someone must've been listening to their conversation. When he finds out who it was, they were going to pay. Not only for eavesdropping, but because they had betrayed the trust of the Inquisitor. 

Well, better stop this before it turns into another breakdown. "Talen." He made his presence known, cutting off the angry words.

The Herald visibly tensed, his words clipped and barely polite, "Cullen."

"What are you doing out here so late? You should be getting some rest." As soon as he spoke, Cullen knew he'd made a terrible mistake in his choice of words.

"Oh, so because I've been through some trauma, all of the sudden I'm a child that needs to be coddled all the time? And what about the fact that all of Skyhold knows what I only told to you? You know, I had sort of trusted you! No one knows the details of what happened to me, I've never told anyone, except for you. And the morning after I told you, I walk out of my room and have a dozen people apologizing and wishing me well, most of them former Templars like yourself! You obviously cannot read between the lines, as I assumed that such information was to be kept private. I trusted you! I haven't trusted anyone like that since I was a small child before I got  sent to the Circle, just to put it into perspective."

Talen ranted for a few more minutes before Cullen cut him off with a kiss. It was hesitant, and it took Talen a few seconds to register what was going on. When he did, he lightly pushed Cullen away. 

Cullen was blushing deeply, "I-I must apologize. And clear up some things. First, I only told Dorian what you told me. I figured that he would be more capable than I to help you when you need it, with you two being so close and all. Second, I believe someone was listening to our conversation and thus spread it around Skyhold. Third, I know it looked like I was avoiding you, and I was sort of, but only because I needed to figure some things out for myself."

He paused, letting Talen speak if he wanted to. When nothing was said, he continued, "I needed to come to terms with my feelings for you. It's strange for me, you are both a man and a mage. But, if what I'm feeling is real, and if you feel the same, I am willing to give this a try." 

Cullen paused, waiting to see how his news would be received. 

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Talen was stunned. That was an understatement really. So not only was his anger misplaced again, but the object of his subconscious affections has just declared that they were interested in him as well. 

"I....um, well....Oh, Maker. How do I know that this isn't some sort of trick? That there's not some sort of bet going on to see if you could....you know....seduce me." He stammered out, looking away from Cullen.

When he looked back, the shy look was replaced by a frown. "I don't treat this stuff lightly, Talen. Has that happened to you before?"

"Maybe." Talen thought for a moment. "I'm going to be honest, I don't trust you very much right now, at least not instinctively. I know that you wouldn't hurt me. But, I also really like you, more than I should. I'm willing to try if you're willing to put up with my nightmares and breakdowns and my paranoia and-"

He was cut off once again by a kiss, this one more confident than the first. Cullen's lips were soft, slightly chapped, and everything he'd dared allow himself to imagine. He felt hands rest lightly on his waist, not pushing or pulling, just resting there and while he was starting to get nervous, it wasn't enough to stop. His own hands went up to Cullen's armored shoulders, feeling the fur he had draped around his neck.

Seconds felt like hours and Talen didn't want to stop, but eventually they had to breathe.  They looked at each other for a moment before Talen spoke, "Wow..." It was barely a whisper, but Cullen heard it and grinned.

"In case that didn't answer for me, I'm willing to put up with you."

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There will be a third part out, maybe later this week if I have the time. 
> 
> Kudos, constructive criticism, and comments are all welcome!


	3. I Sometimes Wish I'd Never Been Born At All

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There's a new band of refugees at Skyhold, claiming to be former Templars. About the time when they showed up, Talen starts avoiding the Commander. Any connection? Was something missed in Talen's past?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is probably the last chapter, depending on how the plot plays out.

They were taking it slow. Nothing more than a few chaste kisses when away from prying eyes, a few more glances lingering longer than strictly necessary, more inquiries about their well-being after a battle or adventure. All in all, everything was good, at least according to Cullen. This relationship was new for both of them and Cullen was grateful for the slow pace. But even the slow pace wasn't enough to excuse why he hadn't seen Talen outside of the War Room in over a week. It wasn't that Talen was out on Inquisitor business, the man was still in Skyhold, but he seemed to be avoiding Cullen and the ex-Templar was unsure as to why that was.

Cullen sighed, shuffling through the piles of papers on his desk, only half reading most of them and judging their importance. Most he put off for a later day, declaring them not an immediate concern. Others he read more closely and put in another pile to write letters or reports for in a short bit. One such paper he was about to place in the pile to be read a different day when a certain word caught his attention:  _Templars_. 

He sat in his chair to further read the report from Leliana. Apparently, there was a new influx of refugees into Skyhold and they claim to be former Templars from the Free Marches. The leader, also a former knight-Commander like Cullen, happened to to be a survivor of the Mage rebellion in Ostwick. When he arrived, the first thing he asked about was where Talen was, asking for the Inquisitor by name rather than title, which is why Leliana included it in the report. To ask by name instead of title was a sign of a more personal relationship than the typical commander/soldier or leader/follower would allow. The report was from about a week ago, right about the time that Talen started avoiding Cullen. Coincidence? 

"Maker's balls." Cullen cursed, slamming the report back on the table and hurrying towards the Great Hall and towards where the Inquisitor's chambers were located.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The moment Josh entered Skyhold, Talen felt it and tensed. Luckily he was by himself in his chambers and no one was around to notice his panic. He knew exactly who it was, since he is a mage, he was more in tune with the magic that kept Skyhold in it's current state. When someone like another powerful mage or a Templar enters the area, he feels it. Normally he never notices, or he recognizes them(like Cullen). This one he recognized. And it terrified him. 

"Well, well, well... if it isn't little Tina. It's been awhile, baby girl. Bet you missed me." That same sickly sweet voice that haunted his waking and sleeping dreams was back and it wasn't something that could be easily vanished. 

"My name is Talen, Josh. Not Tina and I'm no one's baby girl. Not anymore. Who let you in my quarters? I left orders to not be disturbed." Talen tried hard to keep his voice steady but the slight tremble gave away just how much this man was affecting him, even after all of these years. 

Talen turned to look at Josh, taking a quick step backwards at finding the man closer than he'd thought. The grin on Josh's face was perverted, ugly, twisted. It made Talen feel sick to his stomach to see it again. "Come on now, baby, don't be like that." Josh stepped closer and Talen found himself trapped between the man and his desk, Josh leaning in to whisper in his ear, "Just admit that you missed me and maybe I'll go easy on you for your little slip up earlier. I know it's been a while since we were last together."

Talen shuddered in disgust at the words, though Josh either took it for arousal or didn't care. In the next few seconds, Talen was undressed and tied to his own bed, arms above his head. "Now, be a good girl and I'll use a decent amount of oil. I'll have to use some anyways cause I don't want you to go to the healers. Gotta open up your cunt again, it's been so long. Can't wait to feel you again, baby girl. Such a good girl for me."

Josh continued to mutter false endearments under his breath as he quickly, too quickly, prepared Talen for what was to come. Only two fingers, minimal stretching, a thin coat of oil, and Josh was pushing himself in, using Talen's own smalls to muffle the scream of pain that issued forth in the wake of the rough invasion of his body. 

"Oh yeah, love how tight your cunt is around me, so hot and wet and tight, so perfect for me, baby girl. So good....." Josh grunted as he started thrusting hard and fast, not giving Talen enough time to adjust to the intrusion. Thanks to the oil, nothing was tearing, but that didn't mean it didn't hurt. 

Pained whines and grunts and scream could be heard through the cloth in his mouth and yet Josh didn't relent, not until his completion was reached with a deep grunt and rough thrust.

When he pulled out, there was a small amount of blood but not enough to be concerned. He didn't bother to untie Talen, just got up and redressed himself. "That was good, baby girl, but we do need to work on your responsiveness. Want to make sure my girl feels good, right? Makes it so much better. I'll see you tomorrow, Tina." A kiss to the forehead and Talen was alone, tied up, bleeding slightly, and very nearly suffocating in a panic attack with cloth in his mouth. 

He spit it out, barely focused his magic enough to burn the rope tying him to the bed, and curled around himself. He couldn't sleep. Everytime he closed his eyes all he could see was Josh, above him, around him, just everywhere. He'd thought he was safe. He'd thought he'd killed everyone who'd hurt him. But he'd missed Josh. How? Josh was the worst of them, forcing Talen's body to enjoy the activities, getting him off almost every time they were together. When it began, Talen was confused. He didn't want it to happen, yet he came almost every time so maybe he did want it? 

The next morning, Talen got up, dressed and met with his advisors, went about his normal routine, except seeing Cullen. He didn't want Cullen to see what was going on. Didn't want his lover, if that's even what they were, to see how weak he was. He was the Inquisitor. He could have Josh arrested, even killed, and there are people who would do it willingly enough. But that would require them to know what happened and Talen didn't want that. 

So he suffered. For a week, Josh came to his quarters every night. And every night, Talen would become Tina and not sleep except maybe an hour or so. 

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

A week had passed since Josh had come to Skyhold and, despite his best efforts, most of his companions noticed that something about their Inquisitor had changed. The mage had become very jumpy, even in places he previously felt most secure. Such places were Cullen's tower, drinking with Bull and the Chargers, the library with Dorian. And now he either avoided them or kept his back to a wall. 

This was yet another day, with the only benefit being the planning of another journey out to the Hissing Wastes, which was a long ways away and would mean a long time away from Skyhold. Away from Josh. He tried not to appear too eager to leave, not wanting to tip the man off that he was leaving. Josh doesn't like Talen being far away, out of his control. It didn't work.

He was ambushed in his own quarters. "So, I heard little Tina was going on a journey. I don't recall giving you permission to leave."

Talen gulped, "I'm the leader of this organization. I don't need anyone's permission to come and go from Skyhold. Much less yours." He tried to put as much authority in his voice as possible, though it still came out with a slight tremble.

Suddenly, Josh was in his face, fury bleeding through the previous mask of calm. "In case you forgot, little mage, I own you. You are my little girl, mine to command. In here, you are not the Inquisitor. You are Tina, and you have to ask for permission to do anything."

Talen backed up until his legs hit the bed and in the blink of an eye, he was pressed face down. "It seems this week has not been enough to remind you who you belong to. I guess I'll have to resort to desperate measures. I've been far too generous this week. I'm going to rectify that."

His trousers were torn off, as well as his smalls. Not a finger was spared for Talen's comfort, only a thin layer of oil and then just pain. Josh forced his cock deep in Talen's unwilling body, tearing skin, blood easing the way after a bit. Tears ran down Talen's face, harsh sobs tearing out of his throat.

The door to his quarters slammed open and a familiar voice demanded, "What in the Maker's name is going on here?" 

Talen sobbed more in realization of who it was. Cullen had burst in, looking furious. "Ah, Cullen. Care to join me? I'm sure you wold relish the opportunity to put a mage in his place like-"

Cullen was moving before he realized what was going on, his fist slamming into Josh's face and knocking the other man to the floor. 

Talen crawled up the bed, curling into a small ball. "What the hell man! I was enjoying myself!" Josh demanded, standing up and fixing his own pants. 

"You don't get to touch him anymore. I suggest you leave Skyhold before I have you arrested for rape." Cullen said simply, struggling to keep his own rage in check, not needing to scare Talen on top of this.

"But, you're a Templar! You should enjoy putting mages in their places! That's all I was doing! I was reminding her of where she belongs, below me like a good little bitch." Josh argued.

"Him. Talen is very much his own man. Talen is not a woman, never has been." Cullen's anger was starting to show through.

He called in a guard, "I changed my mind. You're under arrest for the rape of the Inquisitor and probably many other mages." 

Josh was led away and Cullen could finally turn his full attention to his wounded lover. "Talen...."

Said mage was tightly curled in on himself, shaking like a leaf, still sobbing. There was a small pool of blood on the sheets below his hips, so Cullen worried about tearing. "Talen, love, are you with me?"

"C-cullen....hurts...cold..." Cullen carefully lifted Talen off the sheets, grabbing one of the spares to wrap the smaller man in. 

He sat on the bed, Talen cradled in his arms. Eventually Talen recovered enough to speak fully, "I didn't want you to know. Didn't want you to see me so weak. I should've fought him off, I know how to. Why I let him continue hurting me I don't know..."

Cullen shushed him, "It's not your fault. If this happened while you were you, your body was conditioned not to fight. It is very hard to break such a habit. What matters is that now he won't hurt you ever again. You can judge him however you want and I'm sure no one will disapprove of your actions." He paused, uncertain, "You will have to tell our friends what happened, the full history. We can make it so it's a private affair, so it's not general knowledge, if that would make it easier."

Talen was silent for a bit. Then he smiled, "Yeah, it's about time they knew. I'm not okay, I won't be for a long time, but....I feel like I can finally leave it all behind. He was the last link. Thank you. I would've laughed at anyone who said I would come to love a Templar, and yet here I am."

"And I would've scoffed at the mere idea of being involved with a mage. And now I find myself completely infatuated with one. We are not so different as we once thought. You'll get through this, and I will be here every step of the way, as will everyone else, I assume."

A gentle, unhurried kiss was shared between them, unaware of Cole watching from the shadows, a small smile on his lips as the hurt in both slowly began unraveling.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Should I add a short fourth chapter about the judging of Josh? Maybe a bit of the recovery?  
> Let me know!


End file.
